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from Providence Women’s Recovery – Christ Based Addiction Treatement http://providencewomensrecovery.com/blog/beating-codependency/
Fighting For Your Identity or those who’ve struggled with addiction in their own life or in that of a loved one, they’ve witnessed the confusing and sometimes twisted family dynamics that develop. In the name of loving and caring is an underbelly or codependence, manipulation, and enabling that having run its course, produces nothing but pain and resentment… and maybe the worst, “what ifs.” In the book entitled, Beautiful Boy, author David Sheff speaks from the heart about the torture of living through “addiction hell” helping his son find recovery. That book had struck a painful nerve in me, especially the twisted co-dependency that complicated an already complicated picture. Imagine: you’ve just had a stroke, and the one thought coursing through your mind is “How is my child? How is my child? How is my child?” That warped sense of priorities seems all too familiar to parents of addicts who often assume second position behind the incessant demands of their child’s substance chemical dependency. More Here… Development of a Codependent Understanding how codependency becomes a part of someone’s personality is highly related to patterns seen in their early development. Self-esteem blogger Savannah Grey explains well in her article Kicking Codependency to The Curb: As children codependents were powerless to change any of their circumstances. They had to sit idly by, unable to do anything significant to change their reality. Now as adults and faced with the same type of abuse the codependent will create elaborate plans to help and change their abuser. Their partner’s healing, changing, and morphing into their perfect prince or princess becomes their sole focus. This feels so natural to the codependent and so they wrap up all their hopes and dreams into another, only to become disappointed again and again, as an abuser’s natural tendency is to exploit and frustrate. Read More… — Video About What It’s Like to Be in Codependency The speaker in this video is Darlene Lancer is a lawyer and author who struggled with a codependent mother. Her book “Codependency for Dummies” and “Conquering Shame and Codependency,” are both well received and easy to understand. She defines a person struggling with this as someone with a loss self, and can’t function within their innate self, and instead lives reactionary to another person, a substance, or a process. Conclusion If you can relate with the speaker or any other information on this page, here are some helpful tips to beating codependency, but as always it is not a bad idea to speak to a counselor or church leader to seek more personal advice or professional help. You get what you tolerate. As mentioned in a previous article (Malignant Niceness) codependents are the nicest people in the world. They are too nice. They will give a person so much rope that they end up hanging themselves with it. Growing up in horrific abuse and neglect we had no choice but to tolerate huge amounts of pain. We don’t have to do it now. […]
from Providence Women’s Recovery – Christ Based Addiction Treatement http://providencewomensrecovery.com/blog/pillars-spiritual-healing-part2/
You need to enter the realm of spiritual war, because unless you fight spiritually, you cannot win.
You need to recall the introductory circle. Think about the pollution.
At first, you did not know the pollution came from Satan.
The post Pillars of Spiritual Healing: The Power of God and Addictions Part 2 appeared first on Providence Women’s Recovery Website
from Providence Women’s Recovery – Christ Based Addiction Treatement – Feed http://providencewomensrecovery.com/blog/pillars-spiritual-healing-part1/
I would like for you to imagine that you are in the center of a circle…
The circle is composed of your feelings towards God; your feelings towards yourself; your feelings towards friends and relatives.
Now, remember that since you are nurturing an addiction, to which you are seeking healing, there is a lot of pollution inside the circle.
Mistakes, sins, lack of wisdom leading to issues in which one might question the integrity and response from God. The bad experiences in one’s life can be conducive to question God’s goodness, bringing our beings into conflict.
These bad experiences might create feelings of shame, resentment, anxiety, and anguish, especially when dealing with an addiction. Within your being, two events are happening at once. The emotional balance God structured for your soul and heart is tainted. And the mental and physical balance the body needed to function well lacks a healthy equilibrium.
These events have spiritual origins:
In the Garden of Eden, God created the most perfect environment in which man could live and thrive. More so, God provided the gift of life wrapped in wholesome, good, healthy, and loving features (Genesis 1).
This came to an abrupt change due to the jealousy of Satan to God’s creation, mankind. Satan planned the attack and crafted doubt in the mind of man from the beginning of Creation.
Indeed, in Genesis 3: 1-5
We read Satan planted a spiritual poison with a question mounted in distrust, “Did God really say?” As if Satan has not done enough, he continues with the cementing of doubt in the mind and heart of men. Genesis 3:4 to 5 explains the serpent used vocabulary that increases the distrust for God, “You would not certainly die…you would be like God…knowing from good and evil.”
In the realm of the spirit, these actions lead men to doubt God’s premises of goodness and life giving directives. It is from that abrupt change to which you and many others question God’s responses to us when things go terribly wrong.
In simple words, doubting God removes the dependence from God and places the dependence in the object of the addiction.
The doubt is spiritual in nature and births confusion and negative emotions. The doubt is spiritual in nature and births confusion and negative emotions. This is the reason why you need to see this dislocation of dependence with the eyes of the spirit and not necessarily with the eyes of the flesh.
In fact, it is in the book of Genesis in which we find the first men and women demonstrating this shame and other negative emotions. When God asks why were Adam and Eve hiding (Gen. 3: 8), Adam responded, “I was afraid because I was naked…I hid” (Gen. 3:10). I hid indicates shame. Satan’s action, to which Adam acted on, created a deep barrier between God and his creation.
Shame is as a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. The first man whose connection to God was pure now was marred in Adam removing himself from the divine worth provided to him by God. For the first time, shame enters the conversation between God and man.
In this Adam felt inadequate and inferior in front of God.
The most important battle then becomes if I am separated from God as a result of a cosmic battle, which began at the moment of Creation, by a powerful and deceiving enemy and the disobedience of the first human being…
What can I possibly do to ensure success in my recovery from an addiction?
***Part 2 To Be Publishe 3-12-16***
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